Hope.

These have been the hardest three months of my life. I have been dealing with constant nausea for almost three months now and still unable to pinpoint what the problem is. I've had countless doctor appointments, tests and hospital visits. I've lost a lot weight, am very weak and unable to do a lot of daily tasks and through it all, I can honestly say, it is well.

Never in my life have I experienced so much physical suffering and equally so, never in my life have I experienced this much spiritual transformation. Even though these 3 months have been extremely difficult, God is so faithful and is doing amazing things in me. Making me a more thankful person. Understanding that this life is too short to live for myself. Giving me faith and joy beyond understanding. Making me desire to know Jesus more and more. Not caring about what I wear, how I look or what others think about me. I just want Jesus. I want His name to be high and lifted up. I want to see Him glorified above everything else.

At this point in my life, I REFUSE to complain about anything ever again. I have no reason to complain. Each time I feel like I have nothing to be thankful for...
BAM! I just breathed. Thankful.
BAM! I woke up today. Thankful.
BAM! I walked up and down the stairs. Thankful.
If we truly knew how blessed we were, we would be walking around saying "thank you" ALL day.

Through all of this I have had moments where I've felt alone, helpless and abandoned. But it's the truth of God's Word and the amazing power of the Holy Spirit that sustains me. Psalm 63 is a passage that has been helping a lot through all of this.

63 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
     my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
² So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
    beholding your power and glory.
³ Because your steadfast love is better than life,
    my lips will praise you.
⁴ So I will bless you as long as I live;
    in your name I will lift up my hands.

⁵ My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
⁶ when I remember you upon my bed,
    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
⁷ for you have been my help,
    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
⁸ My soul clings to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

⁹ But those who seek to destroy my life
    shall go down into the depths of the earth;
¹⁰ they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
    they shall be a portion for jackals.
¹¹ But the king shall rejoice in God;
    all who swear by him shall exult,
    for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

I may be very physically weak and drained but in Jesus name, I WILL overcome. He promises that He will make a way. And my hope is not in the preservation of my flesh, it's that I get to spend eternity with Jesus! The enemy can have my body for all I care, but he cannot have my soul, it belongs to Christ. I belong to Christ. Romans 14:7-8 says,

encouraged.

After my last class yesterday I took the bus home for the weekend. As I was sitting at the stop, I couldn't help but smell the lovely aroma of steak coming from the Keg right in front of me. How torturous that was. A lady sat beside me waiting for the bus as well. Suddenly she broke the silence and said "smells good eh?"

And then obviously we talked about food for a solid ten minutes.

But after that, she told me about her day and how she met with one of her old high school friends that she hadn't seen in 40 years! She told me how excited she was to see her and hang out with her again.

After we had been talking for a while she asked me what I do, and I told her I was in Bible college. She screamed for joy and asked if I was a Christian and I said "yes" and she said "me too!!"

Right after she found out I was a Christian she immediately asked me to pray for her. She asked me to pray that when she goes to have dinner with her old friend that evening that she would be bold in sharing her faith and that her friend would come to Christ.


What an encouragement that was to me. To come across somebody I've never met but be instantly connected with them because of our faith in Christ. Sandra, my new found bus friend, later told me that she grew up in an abusive home and came to Christ after her two marriages resulted in divorce. Her desire is to see people come to know Jesus and understand that He is the only one who can satisfy them.


Even though she lives alone, she is content in knowing that she is living a life that honors God and all she wants to do is share Him with others.

Amen to that.

melody