I find my worth in You...
Where do you find your worth? Where do you find your hope? Where does your joy come from? Who is your first love?
Those have been a few of the many questions that have been running through my mind over the past couple of months. And tonight, God showed me that those questions were not random and they have a purpose.
From time to time I like to write certain phrases on my phone, that have been put on my heart to meditate on during the week and this morning this is what came to mind "I find my worth in You." The cool part about it is that tonight, we had impact group in our res which is basically a meeting that happens every Monday night for both the girls dorm and boys dorm. Before impact group was about to start, we were told that the topic for the evening was about "finding our worth in Christ" I couldn't believe it. I truly believe that God allowed me to write that phrase on my phone this morning to prepare me for tonight's discussion.
One of my greatest struggles is finding my worth in Christ. Sometimes I find that I am so weak that I automatically turn to the instant satisfaction found in the praise of man. At the time I feel so satisfied only to find myself back in a constant battle of loneliness and hurt.
And then... God shows His mercy and grace towards me and I find myself in a place of deep joy only found in Christ. God has been showing me that even in its abundance, all that this world has to offer can never and will never compare to the satisfaction and joy that is found in Jesus. I often say to myself "I am searching for something, what is it?" and after struggling to satisfy the deepest parts of my soul, God makes it so easy because His love remains no matter how far off our flesh takes us. I am in awe of this truth. I have failed so many times and although I know that God was a merciful God, I used to live my life in fear of Him and stay in the darkness. But I am learning that when I am in a pattern of sin, oh how great it is to know that I can kneel at the foot of the cross and find rest in the overwhelming love of Christ. Knowing that He loves a wretch like me and saved me from all my sin; past, present and future.
After hearing a truth like that, how could I want anything more? God is love. And I ultimately find my worth in Him. Not in relationships, not in success, not even in my service towards Him, but in Christ alone.
I struggle with understanding how a perfect and holy God can love such a sinner like me, but that's the beauty of His love; it's so profound that we as finite beings cannot even begin to comprehend it. You can either view that as frustrating, or as extremely awesome! That God loves you so much, you can't even understand it. Wow. Try finding that in a friend, a boyfriend or girlfriend, your clothes, your riches or your wealth...you won't.
So ask yourself, where do you find your worth?